An article about Chicago-style politics!
In Chicago they play “Chicago Ball.” Thisis a form of soft ball that is as location specific to the Chicago area as Hoover Ballis to West Branch,Iowa. In this game a sixteen inch softball that is as hard as a baseballis used with no gloves. If at least one or two fingers aren’t broke ineach game it must have been in girl’s division. It is a rough sport, andeveryone who plays it knows it. Catching a line drive is like catching acannonball in the stomach and catching a high pop-up is like having an incomingmeteorite land in your hands.
In Chicago they also play another kind of ball that isrough, and everyone knows the rules. They call it politics. Inother places they call it organized crime.
Back in the Dream Time, elders were honored because of theiraccumulated knowledge. If Pops knew a better way to saddle horses, thatknowledge helped Junior since he saddled horses. Today if Pops knows howto tune-up cars what good is that when cars don’t need to be tuned-upanymore? Now the old are relegated to extolling their own relevance whileexclaiming, “I’ve never seen that before.”
Doddering ancients who use theircell phones merely to talk wonder why their grandchildren never answer theiremails as Gen Z tweet each other: “Don’t trust anyone over fifteen.” Theworld is moving so fast not only is today tomorrow’s yesterday the generationsare living in different todays today. Gen X and Y parents with their oncehip lap-tops under their arms stare in wonder as their pre-teen Gen Zs textwith one hand while Wii skydiving in the backseat.
For these newadditions to middle-age who’re just old enough to remember Star Trek imagineCaptain Kirk visiting Captain Picard pointing at Commander Data and saying,“What’s that?”
After years of being treated as if the Wisdom of the Ageswere as relevant as Confucius in a fortune cookie, now that we have Chicago onthe Potomac the wisdom gained in the City that Works is suddenly spot-on. Of course George the Second’s doctrine of pre-emptive war made one old sayingmake sense beyond the Southside, “Never start fights, but if you have to hitsomeone back first once in a while that’s all right.”
Then again ACORNhas shown the everlasting relevance of Chicago’s best known adage, “Vote earlyand vote often” as well as eternal life or ACORN byanother name is still the same corrupt mob of community organizersorganizing their way to personal power and prosperity.
With President Obama and the Chi-Town hustlerslarge-and-in-charge, Windy CityProverbs may help many believe what kind of change we’ve stepped in. Suchas “Everybody cheats so if you don’t cheat you’re a cheater,” or “What’s mineis mine, what’s yours is negotiable.” Maybe the taxman could use, “Theymust not have wanted it they didn’t have their hand on it.”
Looking atour Congress, “If you’re going to get mad at thieves you’ll never have anyfriends” comes to mind. Thinking of the new Green HomeEfficiency Inspectors they want us to deal with when buying orselling a home is reminiscent of the Chicago Fire Marshal conscientiouslytelling a young business owner, “We’ll save the city some gas money if we justdo the inspection right here in my office,” while patting his desk indicatingwhere to place the money. The Obama Administration started off with some Southsideswag calling the biggest earmark in historya stimulus billaimed at shovel ready jobs. Then again as the President later joked,"Shovel-ready was not as ... uh .. shovel-ready as we expected."After this predictable Southside of Chicago opening act the poster childfor a different kind of politics continued the virtuoso performance calling ward-heelers czars andfollowed a time-honored Second City tradition in the Minnesota recount by finding a bagof votes giving us a good laugh by installing Al Frankenin the once revered United States Senate.
Who says you can’t go home again? They may turn theold neighborhood into YuppieHeaven by knocking down the middleclass housing and putting up three-storyimitation Victorians but right here right now the machine that gave no-show jobsto half the wise-guys on the corner as well as Michelle atthe hospital is in the process of not just fixing tickets but fixingeverything else. The political descendants of Big Bill Thompson, Richard the First and Richard theSecond parlayed communityorganizing into a national organization that should make the Five Familiesgreen with envy.
Having fixed theeconomy and with health care,hate-crimes,immigration,and cap-and-tradeall queued up to flow through the system before the voters get a chance toregister their disapproval, Don Barak also had the opportunity to begin fixingthe highest court in the land. In the Chicago justice system ( anoxymoron) lawyers give out printed pricelists stating how much acquittals costverses dismissals and the old saying concerning courthouses goes, “It may sayjustice on the outside but that doesn’t mean there’s any on the inside.” Sincethe Democratic Machine and their Me-To Republican allies rubber-stamped Mr.Obama’s first pick for the A-Team, how do the prospects for judicial restraintand the Constitution look?
Fine if you fit the profile for theprotected or promoted classes, but not too good if you naively look for thatlady wearing the blindfold and holding the scales.
Joining the sisterhood on the bench, Ms. Sotomayor felt her genderand her race made her uniquely qualified to reach wise decisions andbelieves internationallaw should be consulted when weighing appeals. She should feel rightat home with the former chief counselfor the ACLU who apparently believes American Citizenship is theright of all mankind. In one decision she said,“You would have a huge statelessness problem if you don't consider a child bornabroad a U.S. citizen.”
And now they have turned Chief JusticeRoberts to the Dark Side. Ah justice, what is it good for? Or as they sayin Chi-town, “How much justice can you afford?” The difference betweenChicago Prime and Chicago on the Potomac is in the original version mayorsserve for life followed by a power struggle. Vive la Différence!
How does Chicago Ball fit into all these old sayings? There are multiple sayings associated with playing ball. Such as, Youhave to swing the bat to have a chance to hit the ball,” or “I ain’t cheatingif they don’t catch me.” So how do our now nationalized Chicago Pols playball. One recent example is in the financing problem faced by the ownerof the Chicago Cubs. The plans to renovate the dilapidated Wrigley Fieldwere being held up becauseof the current owner’s political associations. And that’s how they playpolitical ball in Chicago.
And how does that translate to Chicago-on-the-Potomac? In 2009 the Obama Administration playedChicago Ball with the Drug Industry to get their support forObamacare. These types of tactics have become standardoperating procedure for the Obama Administration as departmentafter departmentmake their wishes known and their power felt.
And just recently the President strong armedthe Supreme Court asserting any interference with his take-over of1/6th of the economy would be unprecedented. What was unprecedented washis use of manipulation and brow beating to pressure a supposedly independentcourt to become another place where the fix is in, or as they say in ChicagoBall “When they send out their best hitter, aim for the head.”
And if this article makes you feel politically as if you’vehad your fingers broken, well that’s just the way they play ball in Chicago.
Dr. Owens teaches History, Political Science, and Religionfor Southside Virginia Community College. He is the Historian of the Future @ http://drrobertowens.com © 2012 Robert R.Owens drrobertowens@hotmail.com Follow Dr. RobertOwens on Facebook or Twitter @ Drrobertowens
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